Girls Are Raised, While Boys Are Loved

Growing up in Soweto in the 80s, there was no electricity for most of us. So, every night, it was the task of the girls or the women in my household to fill buckets of water in preparation for the next morning to heat baths for everyone before getting to school or work. This happened across all the township households I knew. The girls would do most if not all the housework and make sure that the menfolk were properly looked after in all aspects of their lives. A man who looked dishevelled or unkempt or was just not making it life, fault would be ascribed to his delinquent mother, resentful sister, or belligerent wife who, must not only be a terrible housekeeper or an inept nurturer to render this man to such an unfortunate position.

Flash forward to 2023, and I was telling my daughter of this moment in my upbringing, she quipped, “it is still true though…. what Michelle Obama said that girls are raised, while boys are loved!”

I began to ponder and interrogate this statement closely, particularly in relation to the workplace when it comes to opportunities and leadership. Also, because as a society, we have come a very long way from the days when women were expected to be the embodiment of the Stepford wives or barefoot and pregnant every year. Hell! We are in such dynamic times that gender identity has become a fluid concept. Raising discussions on who is viewed as a woman. 

But I digress, because for me, having 'made it' as a former practising attorney, now as an owner and co-founder of a thriving high-end animation and VFX studio in South Africa, what I have noticed leading teams in this space is that men are not afraid to rapturously give each other kudos, professional respect, and reverence, particularly in relation to their professional skills. They are very confident to raise each other’s achievements and push one another forward for positions and recognition, at least publicly. So, the image standing outside looking in, is that of a tight brotherhood forged in the fires of creative or intellectual genius. This is admirable right? Flip yeah! Who doesn’t want a triumphal procession occasionally?

As a woman leader in a predominantly male space my distilled reflections in celebrating International Women’s month are that - the validation of women’s achievement in these spaces should also be public and not only behind closed doors. Women’s contribution to the success of projects or teams should not be redacted or seen as a unique occurrence to that specific woman. In other words, a woman’s success should be normalised and not seen as an anomaly. 

There is no other way in these fast-emerging industries such as animation and VFX but to widen the equality circle so that we fully harness the extraordinary power of creativity.  Women creatives can no longer be (only) raised to serve the needs of the industry but ought to be loved as competent high achievers who form part of the creative genius pool found in successful teams.