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Colenso Produces Worst Idea in Its 53 Year History

18/12/2022
Advertising Agency
Auckland, New Zealand
368
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Love Christmas singles? Colenso doubts you'll enjoy this!


This morning, Colenso BBDO released the worst piece of work in its long illustrious history. They then gift wrapped it and sent it to all their clients. 

The Colens-ho-ho-ho Christmas single features Colenso employees singing ‘Silent Night’. Widely regarded as a horrible song in the first place, it has been masterfully made worse. Performed by a stellar cast of people who were available at the time, the 10-inch pressed vinyl is aurally offensive. Colenso designers then dedicated themselves to making it visually offensive, too. 

The agency’s Christmas single is meant to highlight the fact that great ideas only happen with client and agency collaboration. 

A regretful CCO, Si Vicars, says, “The Colenso Christmas brief is the one brief of the year that the agency does in isolation of our clients. The results speak for themselves.”

The statement of ‘We make terrible things without you’ is emblazoned across the back sleeve of the record - closing the loop on the idea and almost making it worth all the effort. 

Says Vicars, “Without our clients’ smarts, collaboration and energy, really bad things happen. It’s a painful reminder of how we get to great work. Every year, the Christmas brief is our chance to show our marketing partners how important they are to us. Last year we sent them a restraining order, this year the gift is offensive in a whole new way. Next year I think we just chill out and send them waffle makers.”

MD Angela Watson is less philosophical: “Why are we PRing this?”

A creative on the project, who refused to be named, says: “This is worse than when Colenso made a giant ear vending machine that university students could scream into to win ice cream. I SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM was a terrible idea, but this is significantly worse.” 

The track can be heard at colenshohoho.com, though it can’t be unheard. There is also a four minute music video because the agency will probably try to enter this idea into ‘integrated’ award categories.   


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